Redefining Debt and Wealth for Female Physicians
With Dr. Bonnie Koo
In this episode of Clean Bill of Wealth, Dr. Bonnie Koo talks about how your mindset shapes your relationship with money. Dr. Koo is a master certified life coach, physician, and founder of Wealthy Mom MD. She shares insights from her work coaching women physicians and from her book Defining Wealth for Women: Peace, Purpose, and Plenty of Cash.
Most people think money is only about math. Earn. Spend. Save. Invest. Repeat. That view leaves out the hidden driver behind every choice you make with money: your mindset. The stories you believe about debt, saving, spending, and success shape your results long before any spreadsheet does.
In this episode, we break down practical ways to shift how you think, so your actions line up with the life you actually want. You will learn why so many women physicians feel stuck despite strong incomes, how long-held beliefs about debt and success can hold you back, and how to start building wealth with more confidence, clarity, and ease.
Mindset comes before math
Every financial action has a ‘why’ behind it. That ‘why’ is a thought you are believing. Thoughts feel like facts because you have practiced them for years. When you realize thoughts are optional, you can choose better ones. New thoughts lead to new actions. New actions lead to new outcomes.
If you have ever wondered why you keep doing things that do not serve you, start by noticing the belief sitting underneath the habit. That is where leverage lives.
Why many women physicians face extra headwinds
The numbers may look the same, but the context is not. Women carry different social messages about money. History limited women’s access to financial systems for a long time. Those attitudes linger in both overt and subtle ways. Women are judged more harshly for visible wealth and are often targeted with advice that focuses on frugality over growth. Add large student loans and a persistent pay gap in many specialties, and it is no surprise that stress shows up even with strong income.
Naming these forces matters. When you see the water you swim in, you can stop blaming yourself and start choosing on purpose.
Rethink debt so it stops running the show
Debt is emotionally loaded. Many people rush to eliminate it because they believe debt is bad and being debt free is good. That belief creates a quick hit of relief when a balance goes to zero. It also pulls attention away from building assets that can grow for decades.
Try a neutral lens. Debt is money you used in advance. The interest rate is the price of that money. From that neutral place you can compare options. Sometimes the best move is to pay the minimum on low rate loans and direct the rest to investments or business growth. The goal is not zero. The goal is freedom, options, and net worth.
A useful question is this: “If income dropped for a few months, what would help more, a smaller monthly payment because loans are gone or assets that produce cash or can be tapped if needed?” Often the second answer builds more resilience.
Why change feels uncomfortable even when it is helpful
Your brain is built to keep you alive, not to make you wealthy. It prefers three things: less pain, more ease, quick pleasure. Paying extra on a loan fits all three. It is familiar, simple, and gives a little burst of satisfaction. Investing challenges all three. It feels new, uncertain, and outside your comfort zone.
Knowing this lets you work with your brain instead of fighting it. Expect resistance. Plan for it. Make the new behavior as easy as possible, then repeat it until it becomes familiar.
Escape the arrival fallacy
Many of us carry a quiet belief that life will finally feel good once we hit the next milestone: a paid off loan, a bigger salary, a different house. That moving finish line keeps contentment out of reach.
A better target is sufficiency. Sufficiency says I have enough for this moment and I can want more later without scarcity right now. You can build wealth and still feel satisfied today. A short daily practice helps. List three things you already have that you want to keep. Time with a partner or kids. A flexible schedule. A safe home. Train your brain to notice what is present, not only what is missing.
A simple framework to change money beliefs
Use this four step arc to reshape unhelpful thoughts.
Awareness
Catch the exact sentence in your head. For example, “I must get rid of every loan before I invest.”
Resistance
Expect pushback. Your brain will argue for the old belief. That is normal.
Curiosity
Open a small door. Maybe it is possible that investing before eliminating every loan would serve me better. Even a tiny shift lowers the emotional charge.
Authority
Practice the new thought on purpose and act from it. Repetition creates the new default.
Small upgrades compound. You do not need a 180-degree flip. Aim for one percent better and keep going.
Budget for joy, not just restraint
Traditional budgeting focuses on cutting. That often backfires because it ignores what actually makes life rich. Try a ‘Joy Inventory’ instead.
List everything that truly lights you up.
Include free and low cost items. Long walks. Coffee with a friend. Reading in a quiet chair. A weekly date night. Unplugged time with your kids.Price the paid items and put them in your plan first.
Protect them like you protect your rent or mortgage. When the things that matter most are funded, it is easier to trim the rest without feeling deprived.Review quarterly.
Tastes change. Add what you loved. Remove what you did not miss.
This approach pairs well with the idea behind the book Die With Zero. The aim is not endless accumulation. The aim is maximum life enjoyment across your years, with money used as a tool to create memories and support relationships.
A practical path you can start today
One. Define enough for this season.
Write a one paragraph description of what a good life looks like right now. Hours, relationships, health, experiences, financial targets. Use it as your north star.
Two. Neutralize debt.
List each loan with balance, payment, and interest rate. Decide where extra dollars do the most good. High rate debt may go first. Low rate debt often moves to the back while you build assets.
Three. Fund your Joy Inventory.
Add your top joy items to your budget before you fill in the leftovers. Schedule them on your calendar.
Four. Practice presence.
Build tiny moments of stillness into your week. A quiet run without a podcast. A short meditation. A slow breakfast. Rest is productive when it restores focus and reduces impulse decisions.
The bottom line
Wealth is not only a bigger balance. It is a better relationship with money and with yourself. When you shift from fear to sufficiency, from frantic payoff to purposeful growth, you free up energy for what matters most. Use your income to build assets and memories. Fund the life you want today while you create the future you are aiming for.
Ready to Create Your Own Financial Roadmap?
If you are realizing that your current mindset and money habits might impact your financial plan and ability to retire, a fee-based financial plan might make sense for you.
A financial plan offers:
A clear roadmap tailored to your goals
Transparent pricing with no hidden commissions
Peace of mind about your retirement strategy
Book a free discovery call today to see if this is the right time for you to develop a personalized financial plan.
